I mean, you didn’t have many boyfriends did you dear. I think you could have made a bit more of yourself with your clothes. Always black. Always dressed in black. Black this… Black that. You should wear brighter colours, I think.
“I’m wearing an orange jumper.”
Yes. But that’s just plasticine, isn’t it.
Of course dear, when your father was older he grew a …
“No Mum, don’t… Not the …”
… Beard “Beard.”